Taking the Road Less Traveled....

So I had a job interview this week. It went well, my performing art skills kicked in and of course i nailed a second interview. But before going, I learned that this company would be selling satellite dishes through stores and I would be working a solid 40 hrs. + bonuses. It didn't seem like something that vague to me. On the ride home I thought it out more. NO WEEKENDS whatsoever. Not ok. 40hrs, yes! Making decent money-sweet! not being able to work at ubu, a furniture store (in which i am going to school for interior design...) = pretty stupid pick. so I learning this I didn't take the second interview. I am taking the road less traveled. I don't want to see myself as the satellite dish manager over at best buy in 5 years. I might be able to have a nice car and clothes, but thats not the goal here. I'd rather be a starving artist living from day to day and living and breathing and adoring what I do because it fulfills me. Being forced to sit down and take a breath, although i am restless, this is what its taught me.

Also, I have been bogged down by a few exboyfriends this year. and the last one shouldn't hold be down, but totally does. It ended up as "yeah we're totally friends, I love your company!" to never calling me back or acknowging me in his life. Which I don't take so well. But new things have been coming up and I seem to keep looking back. the Sentimentalist in me is such a bad thing. I get so stuck and never take new chances. There is someone I am intersted in. I think hes adorable and like the last ex-boyfriend was parelled to the ex before him... I find myself digging another parellel to the previous. This makes me sound crazy. But I'm not. The point is, I can't keep looking back and telling people I'm not the type to walk away from when I am still standing where they left me. I need to move forward. Its been a while since I've been in this mindset of turning my thoughts into a productive action. Weird how things in life make you stand still even though you think you're moving huh?

This probably isn't that enticing to any of you if you still read this....but this blog has become more of just my own epiphanies anyways.

wings grow restless

"wings grow restless" sounds quite lyrical... which probably means its the beginning of this song.

I have to say in the last year i have gone through various things, horrible breakups, rebounds, complacency in work and school work, a family members battle with a disease, folded in with the bad news of a slippery economy. These sound like bad things, and they are. There are a few good things of which have great value to me.... My artwork has grown enormously in conceptual progress but also craft and I feel my style is coming into its own. It's really neat to watch. And know that when I work on something at school for 12 hrs a day....it pays off! I have been inspired by a few of my classmates to think higher in the sense that I am capable of selling my work, and really calling "artist" my profession and not "designer" don't get me wrong. I go back in forth between "art" and "design" and I am honestly torn. My teacher recommended I "need to pick one." I can't. I think he's wrong. 

anyways thats getting sidetracked, The point is lately complacent seems like a fitting word for me. I love school, and my friends and family. Thats not it. My job on the other hand, I do go back and forth on also. I feel so stuck in this job I hate it. I have been looking for new jobs all the time, but the jobs i do apply for, so do a handful of other people. As an employer you really have your pick of the hand. and that sucks for me.  I want to know that there are places in this world that are succeeding better than the state of michigan. 

thats incredibly selfish. I have a job. I need to be thankful. I need to stop spending. But thats not realistic. what is realistic is not going to rockwells so much and spending $30 in one night. UGh bad choices.

So basically I am trying to not stay complacent in the meantime of having days off...I try making things i haven't made before like shoes, necklaces and tanktops (my own fashion line debuting this june!) hahaha. But i need to work on some projects for some people that need dressers and tables and other things they think i might be qualified for.... ugh the battle between creating to create and evolve vs. the ability to make cheeky things for other people and get a little money from it.

IN other news.. What should I do for my bday? cookout? obviously bars....ideas anyone?